Listen to Yourself

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.” (James 3:1–12)

You should listen to yourself talk; God does and for at least four reasons. 

A Course Charted

The words we choose set the course that our lives take. James makes this point by likening a man’s tongue to both a bit in a horse’s mouth (vv. 2-3) and the rudder on a ship’s stern (vv. 4-5). The primary thought connecting tongue, bit, and rudder is that these are relatively tiny things that control much larger objects. However, it is interesting to note that these three little things set the trajectory for objects of far greater significance. So, it is with a person’s speech. Our speech, tone of voice, and non-verbal communication can either repel people or attract them, and they can also have a similar effect on opportunity and influence.

A Fire Started

A tiny spark can consume a forest with flames (3:5b), just as a little word spoken out of time and out of place can unleash enormous destructive energy into a person’s life, relationships, and reputation.

The words that I choose reflect the person I have become, not to mention the person I am becoming. Words can tear apart a marriage, estrange a father and daughter, alienate a mother and son, turn an in-law into an out-law, and change a neighbor into an enemy. I remember hearing about my Muslim uncle gently upbraid an irate parent who had been screaming at his child in a grocery store. 

“Well I don’t believe in spanking him,” the man responded, “for that would do real damage!” 

“Maybe,” my uncle replied, “but the wounds of a spanking will soon heal and be forgotten. But what you just said to your son, I think he will remember for as long as he lives!” 

God used words to make the universe. Men use words to create heaven or hell everywhere they go. How are your words working for you?

A Monster Tamed

Most animals in God’s creation can be trained, but James says that no human being can tame this unruly member. At first glance, this might sound a bit depressing, but notice that James nowhere says that God cannot tame the tongue, just that we can’t do it on our own! But tame it, we must, for it is a restless and a deadly influence. With God’s help, by hook or by crook, we must get it under control.

A Character Displayed

Springs bring forth water consistent with their source, salty or pure. Fig trees, likewise, bring forth fruit after their kind. Only a fool would walk up to a lemon tree and expect to find oranges. James' point here is hard to miss: the nature of the tree determines the nature of the fruit. So, it is with the words coming out of a person’s mouth; they do not come from our lips, our tongues, our larynxes, or even our lungs and bellies; they come from our hearts. Who we determines the words that we say. How a man speaks and who the man is go together like dogs and barking (vv.11-12).

So, listen to the way you speak to one another. What do you learn? What are you trying to achieve when you speak? Over what issues are you willing to fight? Where do your frustration, your impatience, and your anger originate? Why do you use words to hurt people? Bring your tongue to God, and ask Him to create in you a clean heart--one from which kind and pure words will come. Make Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:29-32 your prayer:

Let no corrupting talk come out of [my mouth], but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And [may I] not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom [I was] sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from [me], along with all malice. [May I be] kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave [me]. 

Listen to the way you speak to one another; God certainly does!