To Bear or Not to Bear?

Children are an expensive proposition. Indeed, their cost can be measured financially and spiritually.

Financially, recent estimates put the cost of raising a child to the age of 18 years somewhere in the region of $220,000. This alone, not to mention the cramp that children put on a young couple’s ability to pursue their careers and expensive lifestyle opportunities persuade many to put off, limit, or abandon altogether the thought of beginning a family. The birth rate statistics in the West certainly bear this out. By age 25, 11% of women born between 1980-1985 have given birth. That number drops to 9% for those born between 1985-1989, and still further to 8% for those born between 1990-1994. At face value, this trend may not seem that significant, but it is driving Western civilization towards a financial apocalypse and what the American economist, Harry S. Dent Jr. called The Demographic Cliff.  Japan already experienced this in 1989. She is now a dying nation and there is neither sign nor hope of recovery. Europe is following fast behind. Germany has the worst demographics in the West. Soon she will similarly collapse. America is in slightly better shape because of the Echo Boomers (children born to the boomer generation). Observing the rise of the Echo Boomers, economists predicted the great economic surge from during the nineties and the early oughties (2000-2010).  Most catastrophic of all to the world economy, however, has been China’s one-child/family policy through much of the past 50 years which all but guarantees their financial collapse. China’s boomtown years are coming to an end. One of the only healthy countries in the world demographically is India. They seem set to grow for much of the next 50+ years. If you have 20 minutes and want to hear Harry Dent speak to this, please click here. 

As bad as the economic consequences of childlessness are, there is something even worse: the spiritual consequences. Children are the spiritual currency of tomorrow’s church. Without them, our membership will move out the back door of the sanctuary and into the cemetery as has been the case with many rural congregations. The rising generation of “nones,” those espousing no religious affiliation and who currently represent 29%+ of the American adult population, only exacerbates this trend. To make matters worse, this proportion is much higher in those aged 40 years or less. This fact matters because studies show that religious people reproduce at significantly higher rates than their nonreligious counterparts. In other words, lose God and people seem to lose the motivation to procreate. Or taken from another angle, without a Godward orientation, people do not believe the benefits children promise for the future justify the burdens they create in the present.

Where do you stand in this equation? Would you rather have $220,000 or a child? If you are thinking only of yourself, the answer is fairly simple. But if you are thinking covenantally, a whole new world opens up. Consider the teaching of Psalm 127: 3-5:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” 

From this vantage point, children are not a burden, but rather they are a blessing from God. They are also a force for future good. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, these children are propelled into the next generation as force-multipliers. Eventually, they also serve as a protective barrier, forming a shielding haven of strength and mercy around their aging parents.

Let me put it like this: do you want to live a significant life? Of course you do! All of us want to leave our mark on the world, to make a difference for the better before we leave the planet. There is no greater way to do this than to leave a retinue of more and better human beings in your wake - evangelistic men and women with the same vision to go forth and to multiply.

Having said that, I want to be clear: this is not an argument for limitless reproduction. I am not saying that every married couple should release the brakes and have as many children as God might give them. There are plenty of reasons to prayerfully think through the final size of a family. Economics is certainly one of them. Paul makes no bones about this when he says that he who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8). We do need to think through how many children we can reasonably afford to support. With that said, the great treasure children bring to the Kingdom of God should lead most couples to consider lowering their standard of living in this age to produce more glory for God through a larger family in the next. Other factors to consider include the spiritual, physical, and intellectual capacities of the parents. Not every married couple has the capacity to raise a family of 10+ children. Poor physical or mental health, rising maternal age, significant marital discord, unemployment, and certain career seasons are some of the many factors that we should prayerfully consider before enlarging our family.

I write this article to challenge us all to rethink the issue. Postmodern Western civilization is not at all friendly to the idea of children. Sadly, the church has been bought into this logic. Too many Christians have the “A boy for me and a girl for you, praise the Lord we’re finally through!” attitude. I feel convinced we can and must do better. In my mind’s eye, I see Lord Kitchener’s, “Your Country Needs You” poster looking at us all, though in the picture, the face and caption are different. It’s the Lord Jesus Christ looking out at us with warm inviting eyes, and the caption reads, “My Kingdom Needs Your Children.” The fields are white unto harvest, so let us pray to the Lord of the harvest to send children to and from our wombs to reach the world with the glorious gospel of our blessed God. Without them, there is quite literally not much of a future for the Church in and the nation of America.