Foul-Weather Friendship

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” ~Proverbs 18:24

We’ve all heard the phrase “fair-weather friend.” Fair-weather friends are those who stick close when your star is on the rise, but run away when things in your life get difficult. They are friends who bask in your sunshine, but retreat from your rainclouds. They are self-serving friends, and they are not really friends at all.

I doubt any of you are thinking to yourselves, You know, I could use some more fair-weather friends. In fact, many of us try hard to avoid them. And they aren’t hard to spot — just wait a few moments … some hardship will arise in your life and they will make themselves known, unfortunately, through their abandonment. For the Christian, this applies not only to friendships but sometimes also to family.

Jesus says that we must be willing to leave father and mother and brother and sister for Him (Luke 14:26), and that loving Him will cause division within households (Luke 12:52-53). For many, loving Christ has revealed “fair-weather family,” by which I mean family who supports and encourages you as long as you don’t follow the Lord Jesus Christ. I sincerely pray that those of you who have been hurt by fair-weather friends or family will find comfort in true Christian friendships and the truer family than the one related to you by blood — the family of God.

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens,” said Gimli in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Rings. I think our dwarf friend is keyed in to an important biblical truth. We don’t need fair-weather friends (and we shouldn’t be one!) — rather, we need “foul-weather friends” (and that’s what we should be!).

Proverbs 18:24 tells us that there is a kind of friend that is closer than even a blood brother. This verse is paralleled in Proverbs 17:17, which says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Notice that there are no exceptions to this kind of friendship. He (the foul-weather friend who is likened to a brother) is there “at all times.” The truest kind of friendship is that which is not broken by hardship, or failure, or sorrow, or seasons of darkness, or even our sin. Scripture abounds with such foul-weather friends. We think of Ruth, who demonstrated loyalty even when Naomi had lost everything (Ruth 1:16-17), or Jonathan, who cleaved to David even when his life was in danger (1 Samuel 20), or the Apostle John, who stood by Jesus’ cross (John 19:26-27). But the friend who has stuck closer to us than all of them is Christ.

Jesus is the foul-weather friend par excellence. He loves us to the end (John 13:1). He lays down His life for us (John 10:11). He never leaves or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5; cf. Matthew 28:20), even when we sin (Romans 8:28-29; I John 1:9). So sure is His friendship that He initiates it while we are His enemies (Romans 5:8), and He keeps it to the end (Jude 24; Philippians 1:6). Christian, is your life under a cloud? Does your faith feel weak and feeble? Is your life a bit low right now? Jesus has not forsaken you. He has not abandoned you. He has not left you without the help, comfort, and love of His Spirit. He will never do such a thing, since He is The Friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

Rev. Kyle Lockhart, Pastor of Teaching & Spiritual Formation