Taming the Fire Within

“A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”  ~ Proverbs 29:22

In April 1995, the Arizona Republic reported that when Steve Tran of Westminster, California, closed the door on 25 activated bug bombs, he thought he had seen the last of the cockroaches that shared his apartment. Everything went swimmingly until the spray reached the pilot light of Steve’s stove. The resulting explosion blew his screen door across the street, shattered all his windows, and set all the furniture in the apartment ablaze.

"I really wanted to kill all of them," he said. "I thought if I used a lot more, it would last longer." According to the label, just two canisters of the fumigant would have solved Tran's roach problem. The blast caused over $10,000 in damage to his apartment building. And the cockroaches? Tran reported, "By Sunday, I saw them walking around again."

Similarly, our text tells us that anger causes more problems in our lives than it solves; stirring up strife, it leads to more and more sin. Worse, we can become so well-practiced at venting frustration that anger begins to characterize us – we become “a man (or a woman) of wrath.” Smoldering resentment follows us into every situation and every relationship. Like gasoline, it only takes a spark to set us off.

A wise man once said, “The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they become too heavy to be broken.” Don’t let yourself become an angry man or an angry woman.

What can be done?

First, self-awareness is key. Reflect on your recent angry outbursts. Were you right to be angry? Did you express your anger the right way? What thoughts went through your mind? Of what were you afraid? Fear lurks behind most sinful anger. Understanding these patterns is the first step toward curtailing your anger habit.

Second, identify common triggers. Most people have a couple or three triggers that set them off. What are yours? What do they say about you? What does the gospel say about them? What lies are you believing when you allow these triggers to provoke an angry response?

Third, prayer is the best source of strength. Pray the presence, providence, precepts, and promises of God into your heart and into your situation. When anger reveals broken, selfish habits of thought, priorities, and perspectives, take it to God in prayer. Ask Him to set your heart right again. Remind yourself that God’s agenda trumps yours. Submit your heart to His Lordship. Be still and know that He is God. Ask God to give you the presence of mind to respond and not to react to difficult people and difficult situations. Pray for patience to let the initial waves of frustration pass you by before you open your mouth to speak. Grandma really was onto something when she said, “Count to ten.” Studies show that it takes about 60 seconds for that wave of emotion to flow in and out of your soul. Let your heart calm before you open your mouth.

In conclusion, taming the fire within isn't about extinguishing all forms of anger, but rather about understanding and managing it appropriately. Identify your triggers, evaluate your responses, and incorporate prayer into your strategy. Like the proverbial roaches in Tran's tale, your anger may persist, but with reflection and prayer, you can stop yourself from reaching for twenty-five cans when two would have sufficed. Harness the wisdom of Proverbs and Psalms, and remember, while anger remains in all of us, it doesn't have to rule any of us (Romans 6).